Turning the Other Cheek—Is it Strength or Surrender?

Violence isn’t always about life-or-death situations. Sometimes it’s simpler and more personal. Someone wants to beat you up, rob you, humiliate you. They’re not out to kill you, but they’re looking to cause harm.

So, what do you do?

Most would say you have three options:

1. Fight
2. Run
3. Take it

At first glance, the choice seems obvious. But what if it’s more complicated than that? What if the greatest strength is found in the least expected place?

Strength Isn’t Always in the Fight

Imagine someone wants to hurt you, not because you wronged them, but because they simply don’t like you. They want to take your wallet, bloody your nose, make you feel small.

Now imagine you respond not with fists, but with the words: “I forgive you,” every time they strike you.

You refuse to retaliate.


You absorb their rage.


You show them love, even as they deliver blow after blow.

What would that do to them? Would they ever forget it? Would it change something inside them? Those are the questions I have, because if someone did that to me, it would likely wreck me for the rest of my life. I would be thinking about it constantly.

The Strength of Nonviolence

Think about history’s greatest examples of resistance:

• Martin Luther King Jr.

• Mahatma Gandhi

• The Tank Man of Tiananmen Square

• Jesus of Nazareth

None of them were weak. All of them absorbed violence without returning it. And that restraint—the decision to suffer rather than retaliate—sent shockwaves through culture, history, and the human heart. You know about them because of that fact.

How many people fought back against oppression that we’ve never heard of?

This reflection was inspired by a passage in Matthew 5, where Jesus instructs, “If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” It’s easy to dismiss this as passive or naïve until you consider the strength it takes to follow through.

What Hurts the Most

Here’s a sobering thought: returning violence with violence is easy. Returning violence with forgiveness?

That’s much harder.

If someone hit you, and all you responded with was love and grace, what would that do
to them? Would they be haunted by it? Would it stick with them forever?

And if the roles were reversed, and you were the one inflicting harm, how would you feel looking into the eyes of someone who forgave you in the middle of your attack, not just once, but over and over again? That might break something inside you in the best possible way.

But Make No Mistake, There Is a Time for War

There’s wisdom in discernment. Ecclesiastes 3 tells us, “There is a time for peace and a time for war. A time to heal and a time to kill.”

We’re not pacifists by default. There is absolutely a time to go to work—to fight, to defend, to kill if necessary in protection of the innocent. The challenge is knowing when to fight and when to stand down.

Some situations demand violence. But others may call for something more radical: restraint, love, sacrifice.

Jesus: The Ultimate Example

Jesus wasn’t weak. He didn’t cry out when He was tortured. He didn’t fight back when He was mocked, beaten, and crucified. And He could have. He had the power to stop everything, but instead, He endured it.

Not out of weakness, but out of strength. He absorbed it all so others could go free.

That kind of love is not something anyone can dismiss as soft or foolish.

You don’t have to believe what He did was necessary to respect what it required.

The Warrior Poet Way

What does all this mean for us? We’re not just warriors, and we’re not just poets. We must be both.

A warrior knows when to strike, how to defend, and what lines must never be crossed.

A poet understands the weight of life, the power of mercy, and the courage it takes to suffer for something bigger than oneself.

True strength is not always in the draw-stroke. Sometimes it’s in the stillness. In the restraint. In the eyes of a man who says, “I forgive you,” even as the blows fall.

What do you think? What would you do? And more importantly, what are you training your heart and mind to do when the day comes?

Remember, Train hard. Train smart. And, at the right time, turn the other cheek.