How Do You Measure Up as a Man? Some Thoughts in Time for Father’s Day.

Your legacy is written in your children and their children's children's lives. What will your legacy be to the third and fourth generation of your family? How do you measure a man’s level of success and the value he brings to the world? Is it cars? His cash value? How attractive he is to women? His bench press? The size of his house, his intellect, his GPA, etc.? Probably not. The metric you use to measure your own life probably should consist of factors that won’t collect dust and decay.

The way you measure your legacy is going to have a huge impact on what your legacy becomes, so don’t answer the question too quickly.

I realize we talk here a lot about physical and mental preparedness as men because we’re the defenders and protectors of our families, but all the lists checked off and the skills to fight attackers should have a deeper purpose behind them.

What are you defending? What are you protecting? And why? Of course part of answering that question is to say, in the words of Conway Twitty: “That’s my job.” And indeed it is our job as fathers and husbands and men to protect what matters or die trying. It’s our calling, you might say.

And that calling comes from somewhere, and the Apostle Paul reminds us to “live a life worthy of your calling.”

What in the world does that mean? This brings me back to that word “legacy.” Yes. We’re supposed to provide well for our families. We’re supposed to protect our families. But this doesn’t just mean monetarily. And we’re not just protecting our families from car accidents or attackers.

Our legacy is the kind of person we were, which is what our children will model. And their children will model for their children. Legacy is the spiritual inheritance you leave for future generations. It’s the character that your life instills into them.

What Are You Worth?

Recently I overheard two buddies talking about this other dude, who apparently was extremely wealthy, and they were trying to figure out his worth.

As they were trying to calculate it up I was trying to just read a book and stay quiet, but something in me, the intense part that kind of creeps up the back of my spine, grabs my brain and turns my head, and immediately interjects me into the conversation with a snide comment: "Well, I hope he's worth more than money."

I may have over-reacted a bit because I’m sure they weren’t really doing what I accused them of, but you get my point. It’s such an irritating question to ask how much a guy’s worth in terms of his cash value. It’s impoverished thinking.

As the early Church Father Augustine said, "Earthly riches are filled with poverty." And that really sticks out to me.

The Picture of Success

If I asked you to picture a really successful person, what would you imagine?

Big house? Nice cars? Big happy family? Hot wife? Great job? Ultimately, no one's really going to be able to define what success means for you. You’ve got to decide what you consider to be most valuable and important. For my part, I'm informed by a Christian worldview.

And this isn’t my segue into some kind of sermon. This is just my personal perspective. I figure since God made man, God decides what man is and what he isn't. There are at least five different times in the New Testament where it says, "Live a life worthy of your calling."

Whether you like the Bible or not, it still poses some good questions about life in general.

And I've stewed on that verse a lot, and I think it’s simply beckoning us toward living a successful life—successful in the ways that matter. If you’re a 20 something year old, with all your energy and your life in front of you, you may want to slow down and think and seek wisdom for the next years of your life.

You’re laying the foundation.

The same could be said of people in their 30s and 40s who are thinking that maybe your legacy has already been written because your kids are teenagers and don’t listen to you.

They’re always listening and watching and you still have influence in their lives. There’s still time.

As I mentioned, my faith is what guides me and defines me. Because I’m a Christian, being more like Jesus is the most important thing. But I also know I’m going to fail. Every day, though, I hope I’ll get better and better. And my faith is also why being a faithful father and husband is a main focus of my life—pouring lots of time and intention into my wife and kids so they know I love them and can look back and remember.

My faith is also what drives me to be a part of something bigger than myself and to make an impact. It’s why I pursued the Rangers, why we pursued the mission field and other ministries, and why the Warrior Poet Society is so important to us.

And I want to serve others so they know there is good in the world and so they can experience purpose in their lives too.

But there’s got to be a balance to all of this, so we maximize one at the expense of the others and burn out.

I hope this serves as a good reminder and a good rallying. When it comes down to it, we’re all weak in one way or another, and we need mutual encouragement to keep striving.

Thanks so much for tuning in.

Train hard. Train smart. Stay free. Let's grow together.