Fierce Marriage & Fighting 'Naked'
Apr 2nd 2019
Fierce Marriage Interview with Ryan & Selena Frederick
The Fierce Marriage Podcast and book by Ryan and Selena Frederick are INCREDIBLE resources.
We had the great privilege of sitting down with Ryan and Selena for an interview and to discuss their book Fierce Marriage. It was a bit of a strange interview for us in that these popular authors just so happen to be long-time, personal friends. So while we were getting fresh information, our interview was blended with fun musings over the past. Check out the video below!
Our friends the Fredericks are a power couple for sure.
We have watched their special marriage and friendship for years and we can give witness that they certainly have valuable insight into how to make a marriage strong.
They know how to make a marriage FIERCE.
Aside from walking down memory lane, we wanted to ask Ryan and Selena to weigh in on some tough marriage issues as well as talk about their story, their podcast, and their book.
We didn’t pull any punches.
The first question we had was ‘ how can we steer clear from fights, especially the bad ones?’
The Fredericks laid out some of the ground rules they use to keep from killing each other. So if you are worried your spouse is going to poison your food, consider a few of the nuggets the Fredericks mentioned:
Fight NAKED.
Yes they said those words. Fight naked.The big idea is that we don’t come with weapons to use against our spouses. We aren’t bringing up past hurts, comparing them with their parents, calling names, or anything that could be destructive. Though they laughed and recommended LITERALLY FIGHTING NAKED, it remains a powerful, and helpful metaphor.
Take time to cool down.
It is usually a terrible idea to try and work something out when you are ticked off, your adrenaline is through the roof, and you are ready to give them a piece of your mind. Instead, let your spouse know that you want to talk about this, but you need to take a few minutes to calm down so you can be sweet.
Reconciliation is the Goal
The point isn’t to win the argument and show your spouse the loser. The goal is to communicate clearly, and be reconciled. Decide that you will only fight to be reconciled. Don’t fight to be ‘right’. It just doesn’t work.
The Fierce Marriage Movement
Ryan and Selena started a blog on marriage after seeing other couples their age split up and not making it the distance. They decided to share all the good, bad, and ugly to help anyone struggling and fortify those wanting to work on the second-most important relationship in their life with practical advice and support. They are also so lovable and funny!
Fierce Marriage has grown to an incredible following, popular podcast, published books and devotional, and a movement of people wanting to be a better husband or wife for those they walked down the aisle with.
In an age of disposable marriage, this is important to say the least. Your marriage deserves a fighting chance.
Personal Note from Mrs Poet
Marriage has saved me. More than any other thing in my life, God has used the man I️ love to be a force for change and for good in my character.
This commitment has saved me from myself and the direction I️ could have gone, the goals I could have accomplished which would mean so little to me now.
It’s been a SLOW, steady tide of us becoming better people by the grace of God. I believe that you are either taking gradual steps towards each other or gradual ones apart. We’ve been in this thing around 4,620 days and counting and I️ believe the best days are still yet to come.
We have both become and done far more together than we could have apart in this adventure.
It has not always felt so good though; marriage is hard to say the least.
The struggle has been real and sometimes burdensome.
Yet there has also been in an inescapable freedom in this type of voluntary captivity.
It is the freedom to love each other for who we REALLY are, ugly mess and all.
Our faith has kept us together and that’s why we love the idea of Fierce Marriage; a union built on the sustaining strength of Christ, not our own.
Whether you’re considering marriage, are engaged, newly married, or an old veteran of the wedding bands; this Fierce Marriage movement is for you.
Covenant is forever.
